E-Z Bake

Do you miss your Easy-Bake oven? Me too, man. I was always more of a scientist running food-related experiments than a master chef, but still.

easy bake oven

Here’s what we’re gonna do. Get a lot of different kinds of cheeses, just go ahead and spend your whole tax return and get the gorgonzola, the goat cheese, the free trade organic local cruelty free whatever. Same deal with the cold meats, sausage, bacon, and so on, and cut them into little bits. You’re going to need a bunch of different types of onion and garlic too – white, spring, red, shallots, scallions, the whole nine. Maybe roast the garlic cloves in advance, that stuff is pretty powerful otherwise. Oh, and Triscuit. Triscuit is the best.

Then just assemble a bunch of sandwich crackers and convey them through your Easy Bake. For best results, use a Raspberry Pi to hack the E-Z software and crank the heat up to 11, to make it snappy.

When you have everything in order give me a call, make it quick though cause I’m hungry.


Published by

Shannon Graham

Shannon has been writing brief essays and occasional how-to articles at Rocketships, Unaffiliated (.ca) whenever inspiration strikes, since 2012. She is interested in your opinion.

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